Members of the 5th-9th grade Redeemer Choir could each submit one word to Mr. Yoder, and from those entries, their teacher had to make up a song. Here’s what ensued:
GYROSCOPIC COMPASS
You and I are star-crossed lovers
Or at least lovers of lacrosse
But I’m a crab scurrying to get undercover,
You move as slow as sloths
Still I love you madly, some might say my focus is myopic
But you’ve been spinning me in circles, and you’re my gyroscopic
My gyroscopic compass
Always pointing me home
No need for a magnet
The attraction is like Juliet and Rome, Rome, Romeo
Wasn’t built in a day
We’ve been built so strong and tough and
You’ll always be my turkey
And I’ll always be your stuffin’
You’ve got the heart of a lion
You’ve got the head of a bull
And that’s just xenotransplantation
But you ain’t afraid of ridicule
And I’m the one with that problem
I’m the one with the katagelophobia
I’m a hurdler falling flat on his face
I just can’t ever get over ya
I got you deep, deep, deep down in my lungs,
And the one the thing I know is
You’re my pneumono-ultra-micro-scopic-silico-volcano-coniosis
My gyroscopic compass
Always pointing me home
No need for a magnet
The attraction is like Juliet and Rome, Rome, Romeo
Wasn’t built in a day
We’ve been built so strong and tough and
You’ll always be my three little pigs
And I’ll always be there huffin and puffin
Sometimes the nights ramble on like long-winded Australians
And you say all my songs are sesquipedalian
But I love you with my ears, throat, nose, face, all of this
And I’ll be your otorhinolaryngologist
I know that the sound of it makes me seem precocious
But you make me feel supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
I will always be your tomato, though you got me playing ketchup
Will you just be my potato, I can be your guy, will you be my fry?
If I didn’t have you around, now we’re getting to the hard part
If I didn’t have you around,
I’d be snuffling on the ground like an aardvark
It would behoove you now to sit right down and listen to my story
Without you I’d be one sad puppy going out in a blaze of glory
But you’re my gyroscopic compass
Always pointing me home
No need for a magnet
The attraction is like Juliet and Rome, Rome, Romeo
Wasn’t built in a day
We’ve been built so strong and tough and
You’ll always be my Griffins
And I’ll always be your ragamuffin
The definitions
Aardvark (n.) - a nocturnal burrowing mammal with long ears, a tubular snout, and a long extensible tongue, feeding on ants and termites. Aardvarks are native to Africa and have no close relatives.
Behoove (v.) - it is a duty or responsibility for someone to do something; it is incumbent on
Blaze (n.) - a very large or fiercely burning fire; a very bright display of light or color; a conspicuous display or outburst of something
Crab (n.) - a crustacean with a broad carapace, stalked eyes, and five pairs of legs, the first pair of which are modified as pincers. Crabs are abundant on many shores, especially in the tropics, where some have become adapted to life on land.
Griffins (n.) - mythical creatures with the head and wings of an eagle and the body of a lion, typically depicted with pointed ears and with the eagle's legs taking the place of the forelegs.
Gyroscopic (adj.) - of or relating to a device consisting of a wheel or disk mounted so that it can spin rapidly about an axis which is itself free to alter in direction. The orientation of the axis is not affected by tilting of the mounting, so gyroscopes can be used to provide stability or maintain a reference direction in navigation systems, automatic pilots, and stabilizers
Katagelophobia (n.) - an abnormal fear or dislike of ridicule.
Lacrosse (n.) - a team game, originally played by North American Indians, in which the ball is thrown, caught, and carried with a long-handled stick having a curved L-shaped or triangular frame at one end with a piece of shallow netting in the angle.
Otorhinolaryngologist (n.) - a physician who studied, trained in, and treats diseases of the ear, nose, throat, face, head and neck.
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (n.) - a chronic lung disease caused by the inhalation of fine silicate or quartz dust. Pneumono refers to the “lung”. Ultra means “extremely,” microscopic means “tiny,” silica is “sand,” volcano is self-evident, and coniosis is “scarring.” Put them all together and you have what the Oxford English Dictionary recognizes as the longest word in the English language, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
Potato (n.) - a starchy plant tuber, cooked and eaten as a vegetable.
Puppy (n.) - a young dog
Sesquipedalian (adj.) - characterized by long words; long-winded
Sloths (n.) - slow-moving tropical American mammals that hang upside down from the branches of trees using long limbs and hooked claws.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (adj.) - extraordinarily good; wonderful.
Xenotransplantation (n.) - the process of grafting or transplanting organs or tissues between members of different species